Affirmation is a powerful tool for resilience. We’re often expected to be positive and upbeat no matter what is going on in our lives. At the very least, we generally feel compelled to put on a happy face for the world. Yet, in real life, it’s not always easy–or in truth, even natural–to be positive all the time. And for those who face daily challenges such as discrimination, low self-worth, isolation, a lack of support, or mental health issues, life can feel very lonely, dark, and bleak. Although there’s no simple cure for these challenging issues, a daily practice of healthy affirmations can truly help foster self-esteem, empowerment, and a sense of belonging.
Join Dr. Carla and affirmation expert Jess Vosseteig, author and illustrator, for an uplifting exploration of the power of positive self-messages. Jess’s work focuses on inclusivity, empowerment, and creating conversations surrounding feminism and the Queer community. Jess has worked with many top companies including Simon & Shuster, Ulta Beauty, and FB/Meta. Topics discussed include self-messages, affirmations, mental health, isolation, community, depression, anxiety, hope, mindfulness, positivity, self-love, inclusivity, gender, sexual orientation, gender identity, LGBTQ+, suicide, suicidality, the Queer community, societal norms, feminism, and personal empowerment. With a focus on education and empowerment, Jess brings messages of wisdom, compassion, and nonjudgment.
Please note that this episode contains sensitive material including a mention of suicide and suicidality; listener discretion is advised. If you or someone you know needs immediate support, please call your emergency services. In the US, 24/7 help is available by calling “911” or “988” (Suicide and Crisis Hotline).
Get the support you need:
https://www.ncfr.org/resources/resource-collections/support-resources-lgbtq-individuals-and-families
https://www.thetrevorproject.org
Books by Dr. Carla Manly:
Joy from Fear: https://www.amazon.com/Joy-Fear-Carla-Marie-Manly/dp/1641701218
Date Smart: https://www.amazon.com/Date-Smart-Transform-Relationships-Fearlessly/dp/1641704675
Aging Joyfully: https://www.amazon.com/Aging-Joyfully-Optimal-Relationships-Fulfillment/dp/1641701412
The Joy of Imperfect Love: https://www.amazon.com/Joy-Imperfect-Love-Creating-Relationships/dp/1641709057
Oracle decks by Dr. Carla Manly:
Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/listing/1757477615/imperfect-love-reflection-oracle-cards
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Imperfect-Love-Reflection-Oracle-Cards/dp/B0D1Z5M4YK
Connect with Dr. Carla Manly:
Website: https://www.drcarlamanly.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drcarlamanly
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/drcarlamanly
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drcarlamanly
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/carla-marie-manly-8682362b
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@dr.carlamariemanly8543
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dr_carla_manly
Book by Jess Vosseteig:
Connect with Jess Vosseteig:
Website: https://www.jessvossart.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jessvoss_art
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Discover Your Power to Shine and Be Your Authentic Self with Affirmation Expert Jess Vosseteig
Embrace Positive Affirmations to Boost Positivity, Self-Esteem, and Inner Strength!
The Power of Affirmations
We’re often expected to be positive and upbeat no matter what’s going on in our lives. At the very least, we generally feel compelled to put on a happy face for the world. Yet, in real life, it’s not always easy or in truth, even natural, to be positive all the time. For those who face daily challenges such as discrimination, low self-worth, isolation, a lack of support, or mental health issues, life can feel very lonely, dark, and bleak. Although there’s no simple cure for these challenging issues, a daily practice of healthy affirmations can truly help foster self-esteem, empowerment, and a sense of belonging.
We’ll focus on this reader’s real-life question, “I’m gay but haven’t come out. I live in a small town. I pretty much know my family and friends would reject me if they knew. I feel depressed and lonely most of the time. I dream about escaping and moving to a bigger city where I’d be accepted, but that’d be a big step. How can I stay positive until I get the courage to leave?” With that question as the focus of this episode, this is the show.
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Please note that this episode contains sensitive information. Reader discretion is advised. I’m joined by a very special guest, Jess Vosseteig, who will be sharing their expertise on the power of affirmations. Jess’ work focuses on inclusivity, empowerment, and creating conversations surrounding feminism and the queer community. As a writer and illustrator, Jess has partnered with many top brands, including Facebook Neta, Lush, Ulta Beauty, and Ms. Foundation for Women.
Jess, I am so delighted to have you with us. Thank you so much for joining. Before we launch into the episode, can you tell our audience a little bit about what makes you you?
Sure. I am an illustrator and author. I live in Colorado. My work focuses on the queer community. That’s where most of my inspiration comes from. I do freelance art, so I work with a bunch of brands and do that full-time.
This gets us into the topic of the day. You also specialize in affirmations and the power of affirmations. You’re such a good fit for the question of the day. I happen to have right here a copy of your beautiful book, Affirmations for Queer People: 100+ Positive Messages to Affirm, Empower, and Inspire. One of the many things I love about your book is that pretty much anyone can pick the book up and be filled.
Not only are your illustrations gorgeous, empowering, and heartwarming, but I’m going to close my eyes and open them to a certain page. It says, “I honor the intersection of my identities.” We all have different identities. That’s a really beautiful one. Here’s another one, “I am worthy of healthy and fulfilling relationships.” The picture is so beautiful. For those of you who can’t see it, it is a couple in this warm hug. Who doesn’t need a hug?
Regardless of our sexual orientation and our gender identity, we often feel lonely, disenfranchised, and disempowered. How do you see affirmations working to boost? Let’s talk about that before we focus on this reader’s question, which is an important question because there are so many layers to it. Before we get more specific, how can people, in general, benefit from the power of affirmations?
Affirmations can be good for everyone, not just specifically subsets of the community because everybody needs empowerment that they give themselves. The world is always pushing back on us and telling us things that we don’t want to hear sometimes. It’s complicated, so our heads get a little scrambled. We get stuck in this cycle of negativity in our own brains a lot of the time. I know I especially struggle with that with anxious thoughts spiraling into negative patterns.
Affirmations are a really good way to stop that spiral in its tracks, reframe your thinking, and push it into a more positive space than a negative one. Anybody can benefit from that and use that in their daily life. Everybody experiences negativity and negative thoughts in their own brain. If you replace it with a positive one and repeat that to yourself, it’ll become a little bit easier.
It sounds to me as if you are talking in an interesting way about rewiring your brain from not only a neurolinguistic level but a neuropsychological level, that broader umbrella. The more we think positive thoughts about the self or other people, the more we have these wonderful affirmations that we maybe start our day with and give ourselves a dose of at lunch, a dose at dinner, and then a dose as we’re going to bed. Whatever we fill our brains, minds, and bodies with, be it good or not-so-good, it’s going to affect us.
I f we’re in a relationship that’s not healthy, whatever the type of relationship it is, a seemingly simple affirmation like that can help us remember, “I deserve a healthy relationship, not this one that is really draining and where this person’s demeaning me or not supporting me.” I appreciate the power of affirmations. Here’s a question for you. Do you practice affirmations?
Yeah. I’m trying to use them more since I’ve realized the impact that they can have on you. It’s a practice to work on. Like anything, the more you practice, the easier it gets. For me, I’ve been trying to practice them in that anxious spiral that I was talking about. When I’m spiraling down in negative thoughts, I try to remind myself of a positive affirmation in those moments.
The more you practice affirmations, the easier it gets. Share on XLet’s lean into the piece about the spiral of negative thoughts. I really like starting there. In my fourth book, The Joy of Imperfect Love, I talk about how our feelings, our thoughts, our mindset, our energy, and our actions blend together. It starts with a feeling that creates a thought that creates a mindset that creates our energy, and then out comes our actions.
When we look at the power of affirmations, if the feeling comes up, the anxious spiral, so we’re feeling anxious, then the thoughts come up that might be, “I’m not safe. I’m not lovable. I’m not worthy.” Then comes the mindset of, “Nobody loves me. I’m not lovable.” We get a little more global with it. Our energy gets dark and gloomy. With our actions, we tend to retract, get angry, or go down that doom-scrolling or whatever we’re doing.
I’m hearing you say, if I got it right, that you see the power of affirmations as coming in the thoughts. We get this feeling, the anxiety, the sadness, or whatever it is. Maybe we’re feeling isolated or whatever feeling is popping up. You say, “I’m going to mindfully use this specific affirmation.” That’s one thing I love about your book. Let’s say I am headed into an anxious spiral. I can open up your book, open a page, and find, “I can find support in shared experiences with others.” The one on the opposite page is, “I bring a new perspective to the world. I am a force of change.” Here’s another one, “I am capable of achieving greatness.”
It can be simply reading one of them because sometimes when we’re in that anxious spiral, we may not have words that can help prop us up or get us settled. We may want to have a book handy or to be able to open and maybe leaf through pages until we find one that seems like, “This resonates with me,” or, “I can lean into this.” If we’ve captured it at the feeling and then the thought level, we can shift our thoughts. When we shift our thoughts, we changed our mindset, our energy, and our actions. Thus, we tend to have a much better hour, day, or sometimes week. Is that how you are seeing this work?
Yeah. You captured that perfectly.
Let’s move to the reader’s question of the day. I get so many questions, some of them similar and some not. I try to match them up with the right expert. This one seems a perfect pairing for your expertise because most of us have suffered some form of discrimination, lack of inclusivity, or disempowerment. Yet, for those in the queer community, especially if they don’t have support, and this individual sounds very unsupported, it is a different kind of aloneness. It is a different type of being disenfranchised.
It’s one of the reasons that there is such a high rate of mental health issues and suicide in the queer community and certainly in certain segments of it. It can be very isolating to be walking out into the world or wanting to walk out in the world and being afraid of being judged, discriminated against, not seen, or not even given space. What do you think that affirmations can do to combat that?
I feel like it’s tough for this reader specifically. It sounds like they don’t have a super good support system. In those moments where you don’t have someone to go to to be in community with and help you get through something, you have to look to yourself. That’s especially hard when you’re feeling so othered and put down by society because you’re getting all this negativity pushed at you constantly.
It’d be hard to believe that you are valid and you should have space in the world if that’s all you’re hearing and you have no one to tell you otherwise. In those moments, you have to tell yourself. That’s where the affirmations come into play for me. It is being able to tell yourself positive things instead of negative things and create a mental environment that’s a little bit safer.
That’s really beautifully put and perfectly put because sometimes, the only safe space that someone has is their mental environment. Whether for this individual or someone else who’s feeling very alone and isolated, it is sad but it is true that sometimes, until we can get the strength or the resources, it’s one thing to say, “I’ll move to a bigger city or another city and find people there.” That can feel like a herculean act.
I was talking to my husband about it. I went to a seminar because I love growing myself not only as a clinician but as a human being. I went to a seminar on working with the queer community. I remember the speaker was this wonderful trans woman who was talking about growing up in Mexico and how she knew very early on that she was trans. This life and her family kicked her out. She speaks all around the world on this.
She went to Los Angeles and had a very difficult time there. It was a very sad story. She had lots of sad stories. She finally found her way to San Francisco and found her community. She went through a great deal of hardship. As an openly trans woman, she goes around the world speaking, empowering, and educating people like me, which is phenomenal.
I remember when I was listening to her the pain I could still feel in her. I’m very sensitive, so I’m picking up her pain but also the sense of anyone who has ever felt disenfranchised, not wanted, or not part of a group. Sometimes, we can even remember that from kindergarten or grade school feeling like we have been othered. I like your use of that term.
Most people can find a time when they felt othered. Yet, for most of us, it’s a time and experience for a year in school or a couple of months in school. For people in the queer community like this individual, the one I’m talking about who’s the speaker, it was for most of her life. There was no reprieve from it. There was no going home from it. T hat’s why I’m thinking about this. For the individual who is the speaker, clearly, all she had at times was her mental space of knowing, “This is who I am. I’m going to keep trudging through life.” She encountered a lot of abuse of all types along the way. What courage.
In looking at your book, reading your book, and being nourished by your book, I find it such a powerful force because she did not have access. There were no books like that as she was growing up. Kudos to you and to the reader who wrote in because in this world, we might realize how many marginalized people there are.
Resources and Support
What would your recommendations be for our audience and people who can see themselves in this reader for using not only the affirmations to create that mental space but then maybe thinking about resources and using the affirmations as a pathway to greater resources? Do you know what I’m saying? Is that too oblique?
Could you rephrase it?
I was not clear enough. I’m opening the book again. There’s one that says, “My voice matters.” Here’s one, “I release the weight of societal expectations. I have the right to exist as a queer person.” What I’m saying is that we get that in our minds, so we get some solace for this individual. What I was leaping to is too big of a leap. We perhaps realize, “I have a computer here. I have this right to exist as a queer person.” Even if their family or friends might be monitoring their computer, phone use, or whatever’s happening, is there a way they could go somewhere, like a library or in private mode on their phone to Google online support and start taking baby steps to find a community where they feel supported?
This is the same across all communities where somebody’s feeling unsupported and unseen, whether it’s domestic violence, a rape survivor, or a queer person who’s feeling isolated and unseen. In those first steps, once we start getting a little power because it takes so much courage, we start having the positive word tracks or the positive mindset and then use that to take that next step, which is getting more support. In your work, and I really appreciate that you are there to help empower queer people and help people who believe in feminism and moving forward in that direction, what would you say as far as looking for resources, going that next step?
I have some resources at the end of my book for queer people to look at and dive into. Generally, the internet exists. You can find anything there. There are so many things out there that you can look into and find community in. There are so many chat forums where you can find people across the globe or across the country and learn about shared experiences with those people. There are organizations that help lots of kids and adults. There are so many things out there. It’s amazing to see how far we’ve come with the internet and how we can all come together through that even when we’re isolated in our own communities and our own spaces.
Specifically for the reader that we’re talking about, they have big dreams of moving away and finding community in this new big city. That’s a lovely idea but it might not be realistic for who knows how long. For some people, it’s not realistic ever to be able to leave their town. The first thing you have to do is to start with your mental environment, find that empowered feeling, use that momentum, and try to educate yourself and reach out. That’s where the internet comes into play.
I’m sure there are a lot of community events, forums, or meetings that people can find. Branching out into your community is helpful. From there, you can take it wider. You can spread information on the internet like how we’re doing and educate other people. Like your one example of the trans woman who’s a speaker, you can even go speak in communities. Start small with yourself and your mental environment and then you can branch out into people around you, maybe your local community. It can get wider from there. The internet is a really great resource.
Starting small with yourself and your mental environment is the best way to branch out into your community. Share on XI agree. What I’ve noticed in working with clients, particularly those who are coming to terms with not being cisgender or thinking about trans surgery or whatever they’re going through, is opening the door by searching on the internet or going to the doctor’s office to talk about starting to take hormones, that alone can be really terrifying because you are taking that first concrete step. It sounds as if perhaps the reader is afraid of taking those steps because once you open that door, come out of your closet or your bedroom and into the greater world, and say, “This is who I am,” there’s not a whole lot of going back from that. That can be scary.
That’s where the affirmations will be helpful for people like the reader. That’s because if you can build up your own mental ability to feel valid, feel respected by yourself, and build up that courage, when you walk out into the world as yourself and you’re met with discrimination and people saying all these things to you, you’re going to be able to have the capacity to handle that better.
I’m thinking of a particular client whose friends found out about this individual being trans and this person was blacklisted. It was really difficult. What we did is we created an affirmation practice. This individual was able to repeat the mantras every morning and every night. They were posted on the bathroom mirror, in the closet, and on the refrigerator. If other people are overtly unaccepting of who you are, it can be crushing. For many people, I found it’s especially hard if they don’t have familial support. It’s one thing to not have a community outside the home, but if you feel as if your family is going to cancel you, so to speak, it’s scary.
It’s not that affirmations are a cure-all, but I am a firm believer that no matter what’s going on for us, it’s not that we have to be happy but we have to feel positive. Happiness and positivity are two different things. If we feel positive about who we are and we feel connected to, “This is who I am. I have a right to be this person. I am good. I am strong. I am lovable,” those are all important things.
Sometimes, in childhood, we aren’t told those things. Sometimes, in childhood, we’re told very often, “You’re broken. You could be better. You’re unworthy.” We take that and add on the hammer of people not appreciating or you not feeling safe with your own identity, sexual orientation, or gender identity. It can be depressing and isolating.
Looping back, because I want the audience to appreciate that no matter who you are in this world, that message inside the self, especially if you didn’t get good childhood messages, is a matter of training. In your book, you also add beautiful pictures that add the visual that it’s not the binary way we’re used to looking at the world. For somebody who’s exploring their identity or sexual orientation, it is such a beautiful way of looking and going, “This is okay. This is beautiful. I see myself in this person. I see myself in that couple,” or, “That’s what I would really like.”
What Does It Mean to Be Queer?
When we add that layer to affirmations, that is why your book is especially beautiful because you can speak it out loud. You could speak them into a mirror or share them with a friend if you have a friend so you are hearing them. You are seeing them in print. You are seeing these gorgeous colorful visuals. I noticed that one of them appears to look quite a lot like you. Here it says, “Being queer gives me strength.” T he word queer has had various meanings over time. At one time, it was derogatory. Now, it’s used in a sense that is very powerful, enlightened, and welcoming. Could you describe what it means to you to be queer?
It had a long history before how it’s used now. Originally, it meant strange or peculiar. That was what that meant to people. It became a derogatory term towards LGBT people around maybe the ‘80s. We reclaimed that word after that. We use it as an umbrella overarching term for people who don’t fit into societal norms. People define the term very loosely. Some people say it’s only LGBT people. Some people define it a little more broadly than that. Personally, for me, I use it as an umbrella term for anyone who doesn’t fit into heteronormative or cisgender norms.
That’s very beautifully said. For many people, the idea of a queer community is still a pretty scary thought because they haven’t been exposed to it. I’m really fortunate because part of not only who I am but part of my professional belief is that I continue to grow and evolve. If we allow ourselves to not be scared of what’s unfamiliar and lean into it and say, “People have different ways of being,” there’s no right or wrong here. This is about allowing people the freedom to express who they are, whether it’s their sexual orientation, religion, or any aspect of who they are.
We are in a world where I hope that there is much more space for that, where it’s no longer heteronormative, and it needs to be what society from many years ago, quite frankly, thought was okay. We can continue to evolve. That’s a wise step because the more colors, the more shades, and the more variation there is in the world, the more beautiful it is. A black-and-white world is a very dull world.
I agree with you.
Going back to your book, you use a lot of color. I’m wondering. Was that intentional?
Yeah. All of the illustrations that I do are really bright, positive, and colorful. Color plays a huge role in how we feel. That’s why the bright positive colors spoke to me for how I create art because I love to center it around positivity. That comes into play with the colors.
Positivity vs. Authenticity
If we look at the difference between positivity and putting on that happy face for the world, what do you see as the difference?
I feel like positivity is a little bit more freeform than saying, “I’m happy,” because if you’re happy, everyone sees that as like, “You’re doing great. You’re having a great day. Everything in your world is fine.” Being positive is trying your best to get through whatever you’re going through and have a good outlook on it. It doesn’t necessarily mean that everything’s going great. It means that you’re trying to do your best to get through it.
I love that definition. We talk about toxic positivity. Toxic positivity is pretending everything is great when it’s not and feeling like you need to do that 24/7, which is impossible. Happiness is something that can be quite fleeting whereas positivity, I agree with you. It’s more of an attitude and an energy. I see it also as being related to hope.
Going back to our reader’s question, anyone who can understand that situation of feeling isolated, disempowered, and not able to be yourself, if you have positivity, positive affirmations, positive words, and positive snippets to hold to, which your book is filled with really meaningful positivity, then it’s a way to not lose hope. That is what I’ve seen happen so often. It makes me very sad because sometimes, people start withering away and start thinking about suicide or get stuck in anxiety and depression.
The analogy is not perfect, but I think of this hike I was taking out of the Grand Canyon. It was extraordinarily hot. I had never done anything quite like that before. I kept saying to myself, “I can do this. I am strong. I am tough. I can do this.” That was a situational journey. This, what our individual is talking about, is a lifetime journey. If a positive affirmation gives us hope to get from the bottom of the Grand Canyon and a day’s hike up to the top and can keep us going on that journey, then if we embrace it and keep it with us, it could give this individual hope.
Maybe they don’t ever leave their community or maybe they do. Maybe they end up in a big city and live wild, free, and however they want to be. We can see how positive affirmations make a difference like a negative. We can call it a negative affirmation because affirmation can also mean to affirm something. In saying, “I can’t do this. I will never be seen. I will never be loved, I am unworthy,” those are all negative ways of pressing words into the psyche.
If we take that same concept and press positive words into the psyche, we can see it. They really work. I’m a great example on that small day case but there have certainly been much more important times where I had to cloak myself on the outside with positive affirmations and feed myself on the inside with them to get through. Otherwise, we go into hopelessness. What do you think about that?
I was thinking about the reader’s question again and thinking about how I feel like a lot of people in that situation get told, “It will get better. You’ll be fine. You have to get through it.” In a sense, that’s people giving you affirmation like, “You’re going to be fine. You’re going to get through it,” but I don’t think it’s as impactful as when you say it to yourself.
People in those situations, like our audience, it’s like putting off any kind of solution when you tell someone, “It’ll get better. You’re going to be fine. Wait it out.” It’s like putting them in such a weird waiting area of their life. If they could use those positive affirmations for themselves, it’s more of a way to take action in your own life than have people spewing things at you. Even though they’re positive or even though they’re good things to say, “You’ll get through it. You’re going to be okay,” it’s not as helpful as when you say it to yourself and then you can take action from that.
I 100% agree. I was thinking as you were saying that that it’s like you saying, “Dr. Carla, I’m not strong enough,” and me saying, “You’ll be fine.” It’d be much better for me to say, “Why don’t you lift some weights? If you’re not feeling strong, let’s get you to lift weights.” That’s what affirmations do, I believe. It’s like weightlifting for the psyche. It’s building that strength that’s saying, “I can do this. I am good. I am strong. I am beautiful,” or whatever it is. I really see affirmations as a practice of strengthening the self. That inner strength is what gives rise to hope.
That can be really powerful for queer people especially to know that you have control and to feel like you have power in the situation because, in life, you feel very powerless.
Affirmations for Women and Gender Equality
I know this isn’t our topic for the day, but before we start wrapping up, I’m curious. We’re 100 years past the women’s right to vote in America. We’ve come a long way, and yet we haven’t in many ways. I know you are a big advocate of women’s rights and feminism. What would you say for all of those women out there and all of those individuals out there who are feeling as if they can’t break through the glass ceiling or they’re being treated unfairly, or they can never be pretty enough, thin enough, or whatever the societal norms are enough? Do you see your affirmations working for them as well?
Definitely. It applies to everyone, no matter what gender you are, orientation, or anything. Positive affirmations can be empowering for anyone who’s struggling with what you were describing with not fitting into society or feeling frustrated with where society is at. It’s best to start reframing how you think about yourself and decenter the negativity that society’s giving us.
Affirmations can play a part in reframing how you think about yourself and decentering the negativity that society gives us. Share on XI love that.
By that, I mean we live in a patriarchal society, so as a woman, a non-binary person, or a trans person, we’re being told things constantly that we’re not good enough, we’re never going to make it, and all the things that you were describing, like not being able to break through the glass ceiling. If we break that down for ourselves, understand where that’s coming from, which it’s coming from a negative place and a patriarchal place where it’s not to our benefit, decenter those ideas, start reframing that in our own brains, and create our own different mental environment, that can be really helpful. Affirmations can play a part in that.
I completely agree. Your book is not only a book for the bedroom, the office desk, or the coffee table. It’s a great book when kids are starting to get introduced to identity and sexuality, whatever that means to people. It’s a lovely way to allow the idea of healthy choice and healthy exposure. I personally didn’t grow up with anything like that. I grew up with my parents not allowing me into sex ed class because they were afraid I would learn something bad. We are either going to learn in healthy ways and be allowed to make our choices or we are going to learn as I did in perhaps not-so-healthy ways because we were put in a bubble.
I am a big fan of not putting individuals in bubbles. Let’s hold hands. Let’s make friends. Let’s explore the world. Let’s do it in healthy ways that allow people never to be pressured and also never to be isolated or forced to hide who they are. I’m a believer that we are all imperfect. I certainly will never be perfect. Love is action. If we’re telling people we love them, then we might want to look at how inclusive we’re being, how kind we’re being, and how empowering we’re being because love is action. It’s imperfect.
To piggyback off of that, for a lot of people, when it comes to learning about queer identities and the queer community, they get stressed out and are like, “I don’t know where to start. I don’t want to make any mistakes,” and all that jazz. It’s important to look at the queer community with more compassion than comprehension. You don’t have to understand every single identity. You don’t have to resonate with it. You don’t have to fully get all the ins and outs of the queer community because it’s impossible. You do have to lead with compassion for it. You have to be curious about it. You have to want to know what these people are going through. Compassion over comprehension of the queer community is helpful.
It's important to approach the queer community with compassion over comprehension. You don't have to understand every single identity. Share on XI’ll add a little bit to that because I love the compassion and curiosity piece. Curiosity is one of my favorite pieces. If you are respectfully curious, that’s very connective in many situations. One of my other favorite words is non-judgment. No matter how we were raised, and many of us were raised in either religious or judgemental environments, we can learn to bracket that. We can learn to go, “I’m being a bit judgy here.” We don’t need to shame or blame ourselves.
We then get to take off the hat of judgment, put it over here, and keep doing that until we are learning to embody love. True love doesn’t always have to agree with somebody. Unless somebody’s harming us, we can always allow for other perspectives and other ways of being. That’s what love asks us to do. You are a fabulous guest. I thoroughly enjoyed our time together. Are there any other pieces you would like to cover?
No. We covered a pretty good amount. Thank you so much for having me. I had a blast.
I had so much fun with you. You said that it can be difficult for people to enter and be curious about the queer community or any community. We are very much sometimes afraid of getting it wrong and being censored or being told, “You’re a judgmental person,” when we’re being curious or when we’re learning. I’ve been on that. When I went to that seminar, it was my first seminar on the queer community. It was ages ago, but my eyes were opened and I was very curious. Fortunately, I was met with lots of acceptance, and I’ve done lots of learning and growing. We all have to start somewhere.
Gen Z has it much easier because there’s so much more readily available from the time they open their first books and the time they open their first computer. For many people, it is new territory. To the audience, if you are in that group, remember you might feel a little anxious as you delve into it. You might feel a little trepidatious or worried, but it’s okay because if you’re exploring in a truly kind, compassionate, and nonjudgmental way, you’ll learn as you grow, which is the purpose of life. We want to learn and expand.
It’s important for those people to know that it’s okay to be uncomfortable at first. Whenever you’re learning something new or there are things that you don’t know, you’re going to be uncomfortable. Being uncomfortable in those spaces because you’re uneducated about something is a privilege as well. Going into it knowing that is going to be really helpful to break down those walls of anxiety about it. You have to be comfortable getting uncomfortable to learn.
You gotta be comfortable getting uncomfortable to learn. Share on XThere is certainly a lot for us to learn and explore on the other side of fear. Thanks again. Where can our audience find you?
You can find me on Instagram @JessVoss_Art or on my website, JessVossArt.com.
Her book is Affirmations for Queer People: 100+ Positive Messages to Affirm, Empower, and Inspire. You ought to check out her website. There is so much glorious art and so much goodness going on there. Thanks again, Jess.
Thank you so much.
My pleasure. To our audience, I treasure you and feel so grateful to explore fresh, wonderful, and beautiful topics with you. Thank you for joining us.
Important Links
- Jess Vosseteig
- Shop – Jess Voss Art
- About – Jess Voss Art
- Jess Vosseteig’s Instagram Page
- Affirmations for Queer People: 100+ Positive Messages to Affirm, Empower, and Inspire on Amazon
- Affirmations for Queer People: 100+ Positive Messages to Affirm, Empower, and Inspire on Simon & Schuster
- National LGBTQ Task Force
- Support Resources for LGBTQ Individuals and Families
- The Trevor Project – Suicide Prevention for LGBTQ+ Young People
- LGBT National Hotline
About Jess Vosseteig
Jess Vosseteig (Jess Voss Art) is a Queer illustrator and writer born and raised in Colorado. Her work focuses on inclusivity, empowerment, and creating conversations surrounding feminism and the Queer community.
Jess loves illustrating to empower all genders, break gender stereotypes, and promote body positivity/neutrality. Jess wants her audience to feel seen and heard in her work, be empowered to be themselves, educate others, and push societal norms.
She has worked with Simon & Schuster, Penguin Random House, Scholastic, Macmillan Publishers, Albert Whitman & Co., and Harper Collins Publishing, LLC. Jess has partnered with brands and organizations like Facebook/Meta, Dr. Martens, Lush, Ulta Beauty, the Ms. Foundation for Women, and more.