letting go

I woke this morning to a message from a client that moved me deeply. It was clear that he had hit another heavy wave of incredible pain as a result of the “beginning of the end” of his marriage. His message was riddled with self-doubt and the weight of blame from himself and his spouse. As I often do at such times, I sat in silence for a bit to let my feelings and responses wash through me. As humans, at some point we all know the pain of self-doubt, self-ridicule, and blame. Letting go of these self-inflicted burdens can be extraordinarily difficult, for the underlying patterns are all too often etched into our beings from an early age. They are, indeed, self-inflicted burdens, for we choose to carry them as part of our being even when they do not serve us. We choose to accept the painful weight of the blame that others cast toward us, even in cases (or, possibly, especially in those cases) when there is no truth or even constructive purpose in the blame. As I sat in silence, I readily recalled my tenet of striving to search for truth in all situations in order to learn, in order to move steadily toward more wholeness. Of course, this concept holds true for blame. Search the blame for any lesson it may hold for you, and then be prepared to cast it off. Take a look at the blame, the accusation, the burden that has been thrown. Inspect it, hover over it, search it through and through. Turn the blaming words and thoughts upside down and inside out. Is there any truth to them that might merit introspection? If so, find those grains of sand, those truths, that scratch at you and make use of them. Study them, glean from them, and vow to yourself to learn–even the smallest bit–from that life lesson. Make use of that learning to create more of the pearl of yourself. And then, with delight, cast off the blame, for there is nothing to be had from it any longer. It is not yours. It is unnecessary. In those cases where there is no grain of truth to be had, where a step toward fuller self-discovery cannot be garnered, then let go of the blame. It is not yours. It is not wanted. It is of no value. Let it go. As we move ever forward on our journeys, the greatest gifts seem to be those that ultimately allow us to become more accountable to ourselves, to the ideal that we envision as our own highest self, the inimitable beauty of our truth. Today, as the autumn leaves begin to turn and fall away, you might find incredible release by letting go of blame. Blessings to you on your journey.

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