For those who are not single by choice, Valentine’s Day can come as a harsh, bitter reminder of too much solitude and too little romance. Yes, Valentine’s Day is traditionally the day of sweethearts, romantic dinners, and coupledom, but it’s time for a change of attitude. And the truth is, whether you are longing for a partner or single at heart, Valentine?s Day is the most awesome opportunity to fill your bucket with love to the max.

This might sound counterintuitive–or even impossible–but all it takes is a little attitude adjustment. –You don’t want to be blue on Valentine’s Day, do you?

Trust me. I know what I’m talking about. A few years back–after a nasty split with a long-term partner–I had no interest in taking up offers for Valentine’s dates. No, I decided, this wasn’t the year to look for love in the eyes or arms of someone new. This was the year to find love in the arms of someone I?d forgotten about and wanted to get to know again. This was the year–the Valentine’s Day–to spend loving time with one person: ME.

And so, I set about to create my ideal Valentine’s Day. I did whatever I wanted whenever I wanted; the day became all about making my heart feel great.

I started my day with a walk in the sunshine. I treated myself to an extra yoga class. I delivered chocolates and flowers to a few dear friends. I stopped by the store to purchase all the ingredients for my favorite dinner and dessert. When was the last time I cooked a candlelight dinner for myself?

Never.

I infused my cooking with love. I set out my prettiest plates, listened to my favorite music, and sang to my heart’s content. And, much later, after a hot bubble bath, I drifted off into the sweetest of dreams. Yes, it was a most magical and memorable self-love Valentine’s Day.

If this sounds right up your alley, the following tips are meant for you.

5 Tips for a Fabulous Self-Love Valentine’s Day

1. Pause to reconfigure Valentine’s Day in your heart and your mind. Imagine the possibilities when you expand your definition from a day of couples and romance to a day of self-love.

2. Notice if your negative mind tries to get in the way of a fun-filled day. Notice if a sneaky voice says, ?You shouldn’t be single–or–There’s something wrong with you if you’re alone on Valentine’s Day. If pesky, negative self-talk starts to get you down, replace it with positive messages like this: ‘Today is a great opportunity to spend time with myself and enjoy my own company.’ If you yearn for the company of others, your positive message might be, ‘Today is a fantastic day to connect with friends and family.’3. Envision what you want to create in your life for your self-love Valentine’s Day (and beyond). Do you want to exercise? Take a class? Have a movie-watching binge? Create a Valentine’s Day slumber party with your buddies? A visit to a vintage clothing store to try on every possible combination of pink and red? Think outside the (chocolate) box.

4. Now it’s time to solidifying the uplifting images you’ve created in your mind. Put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard to craft an outline for your self-love Valentine’s Day. As you create a day filled with fun and adventure, you’ll realize that Valentine’s Day is truly about all kinds of love, not just romance!

5. Here’s the coolest tip of all. As you create–and enjoy–a stellar self-love Valentine’s Day, you might realize that you love yourself and know yourself just a little bit better. You might come to find that Valentine’s Day doesn’t necessarily mean looking to others for love. It might just be one of the best days of the year to love yourself.

As you enjoy your self-love Valentine’s Day this year, you might actually create some of your greatest memories. And, the gifts you give yourself–the gifts of self-love, kindness, and TLC–won’t add pounds to your scale or wither away with time.

They’ll be your Valentine’s gifts forever.

Be You. Be Love.